Willing Warrior

2006-05-24T16:37:00.000-07:00

Blind Bliss. No Connections.

This is a vlog from the project at www.WillingWarrior.com Combatting false representation with self-representation.

Tags: pendulum, minority, gay, political, immigration, racism, castro, vlog, queer, hate crimes, badlands

2006-05-02T18:25:00.000-07:00

If you are still coming here, DON'T. Sorry! I forgot to post it here... I moved a while ago. www.WillingWarrior.com

2006-04-17T21:23:00.000-07:00

(ww42) Rising Thanks for your patience. Links: Democracy Now!, Uprising Radio, Left, Right & Center Music: Final Fantasy Song: Peach, Plum, Pear

Discussion at the FORUM

2006-04-13T01:52:00.000-07:00

Man At Work.Holy crap. Sorry. Somehow I thought that changing countries, finding an apartment, moving my stuff up from LA, greeting my partner, getting settled, and vlogging wouldn't be a problem. I was sorely mistaken. A bit worse for the wear but finally here. I unpacked all my books (what an incredible feeling) and as soon as the Marquis de Sade hit my hands I knew I was back in the US of A. I swear I'll be back with you in a day or so. I’ve had a dream… and my dream was of a Dream. I don’t remember feeling my shoes hitting the pavement as I walked, but my stride felt like one of a lion roaming the plains after a large feed. The sidewalk that cradled me seemed like one along side of a large San Francisco street. A movie theater marquis passed above my head and there were no cars to distract my perfect stride. The buildings and the scattered people in the intimate distance were bathed in the golden hue of a setting sun. The air was ripe and heavy like a vine bound tomato and just as fragrant. It was a moment of pure contentment; filled with all the ease, vigor and blossoming purpose that Zeus undoubtedly felt when first he gripped his bolt. Music flooded my head and singing resonated in the breathing concrete. A woman, merely humming her words, “What do you get when you fall in love…?” “A feeling like this.” I thought to myself. “LOVE.” Then another voice that I recognized as my own, somehow, began to overpower the ’75 feel of my perfect moment. “What did you get when you fell in love? A love as unproductive as your search for “art”. You are twenty-six years old and still have not seemingly breached into manhood. A mere child still… When your parents were twenty-six they had already married and you were in the womb of your mother. Your mother the teacher. The focused, warm-hearted woman who has devoted her life to empowering children and uplifting our future while her own child breaks her heart because he cannot seem to make sense out of it all. Sense. Sensitive. You’ve always been the sensitive child. ‘Too sensitive…’ father says as his firmament of a self sits behind his engineering plans. He chose travel (long, hard, and constant) around the world so he could be provider and establish his own family’s future. All that income allowed him to show his love. LOVE was easy to recognize in the wet ink blotches on the checks. It was the abundance of LOVE that turned the sweet to bitter, and the warmth to cold. But you still call him for that little extra to make ends meet on the 28th of the month.” I had a Dream to be an artist. To hold a mirror up to our nature and not to flinch when I saw the reflection. I have sacrificed, I have bled, and I have nothing to show for it. Generations of farmers I have never met, whose red blood I carry in my blue veins, breathe at my nape asking me, “What have you tilled? What will you reap when you are hungry? Look how far you have come from the Earth.” My great-grandfather stood at the docks at fourteen clutching a stranger’s child to cover the red X painted on his chest that would deny him passage through the gates on Ellis Island; out to the lines and the men with the pens who will butcher his name, and then let him pass alone. He weeps for me now and spits at my neglect. My ancestor’s legacy weighs me down and my back bends as I trudge on, no longer alone, weakly. Purpose eludes me and I am grasping. “The last bastion of a failed life is the most honorable struggle of bringing new life into this world. Any mindless person can reproduce, even you, and struggle to buy food and diapers while gaining assistance from the government and sympathy from its governed. That strife is worthy. That sacrifice is respectable. If the struggle is great enough others will write books, screenplays will be produced and Erin Brockovich will be named ‘a heroine of our times.’ Suddenly your life will have worth because life begot life.” My child cannot exist because the woman to bear it will not exist. I am a gay man whose heart resides in another man’s and in an artistic passion with elusive boundaries. I find myself frozen, sweating beads of terror and heartbreak on the “golden streets” of San Francisco. She continues her song in my head and now I can hear her clearly. “What do you get when you fall in love? You only get lies and pain and sorrow. So, for at least until tomorrow… I’ll never fall in love again.” I had a dream about the American Dream that we hold up and sell as a commodity in every back alley in every rural town. I ask, when a life built on our dreams doesn’t add up; does it leave us in a fulfilling life or simply one that sends us to retirement complexes to wrestle with our regrets incoherently? Ken and Barbie’s Dream House sells endlessly. The inadequacy of one’s own self comes along for free.

2006-04-04T04:07:00.000-07:00

(ww41) Stories of Injustice VENDETTA photo from Pink Mafia Radio. THANK YOU!!! Make sure to check out this post from Rob Thurman Content: Roger from Of By and For, Palaver, V for Vendetta, Immigration Reform Music: Artist: Sigur Ros CD: Takk... Song: Glosoli

2006-03-31T11:07:00.000-08:00

(ww40) LA :Active with Activism Location: The Village in Los Angeles, CA Sirius 106 OutQ Content: www.PinkMafiaRadio.com, Equality For All

2006-03-27T19:20:00.000-08:00

Of By And For

I've been included in this presentation. Los Angeles, CA March 30th I'll be there on thursday night... Can you make it?

2006-03-26T22:35:00.000-08:00

(ww39) The Night I Found A Pizza Box Music: Artist: Eric Himan CD: All For Show Song: Everytime

2006-03-25T16:08:00.000-08:00

(ww38) Touching Myself and Looking to See How Far We've Come "Like the spread of global parasitic imperialism, Aids is roaming the world, attacking the poor and the marginalised," Winnie Madikizela-Mandela, ex-wife of the former South African president, Nelson Mandela, told a crowd gathered outside Durban city hall. "Aids is a holocaust against the poor and the responsibility lies with the drug companies who put their profits before their responsibilities," said Zachie Achmat, head of the South African Treatment Action Campaign (TAC) which wants affordable drugs to be made available to HIV positive people and those suffering from Aids-related illnesses. Link Content: Paragraph 175, Common Threads: Stories from the Quilt, Why We Fight by Vito Russo, ActUpNY

2006-03-23T14:14:00.000-08:00

(ww37) Just Beat-Down Content: Widespread Police Abuse Against Gay Americans, Targeting of Gay Iraqis by Shia Death Squads, Harvey Milk Music: Artist: Telefon Tel Aviv CD: Map of What Is Effortless Song: Nothing Is Worth Losing That

Comment at the FORUM

2006-03-20T20:09:00.000-08:00

(ww36) Migrant, Terrorist, Kamikaze FarmworkersBe afraid. Be very afraid. Or wake up. Content: Nillo's Night, Zackie Achmat “If the word integration means anything, this is what it means: that we, with love, shall force our brothers to see themselves as they are, to cease fleeing from reality and begin to change it”

- James Baldwin Comment at the FORUM

2006-03-16T02:46:00.000-08:00

(ww35) Willing Before Stonewall After Stonewall "...and that visibility which makes us most vulnerable is that which also is the source of our greatest strength." -Audre Lorde Music: Sigur Rós CD: Takk.. Song: Takk..

2006-03-15T16:21:00.000-08:00

(ww34) The "Gay" I'm OK With...The "Gay Activist" part I'm working on. What does it mean? Is it the right approach? Content: Justin of www.JustinFeed.com Dave Chapelle's Block Party

Comment at the FORUM

2006-03-13T09:48:00.000-08:00

(ww33)Emma Touched Me Tonight...Wha'... Whe'... Where the hell am I? Emma Goldman is at my bedside and I don't feel so alone. Music: Artist:Telefon Tel Aviv CD: Fahrenheit Fair Enough Song: Fahrenheit Fair Enough

Comment at the FORUM

2006-03-09T18:52:00.000-08:00

(ww32)Do You Know The Way Through San Jose?La, La, La La, la la zzzzzzzzzzzzzz The Urban Suburbia- Poppies or poison? What would Luke Skywalker do? Luke Skywalker hits the field of poisonous poppies. Well, now I've gone and got my modern myths mixed up... I've lost the thread. Haven't I...? Is INFILTRATE a dirty word? Content: Mark

Comment at the FORUM

2006-03-08T18:30:00.000-08:00

Hmmm... Action? Reaction? Good? Bad? Productive? Discuss. (At the FORUM)

2006-03-06T14:26:00.000-08:00

(ww31) A Goodbye...to Chile, and a Hello to a new beginning. What can you do? Help those around you say "goodbye" to the false hopes of what they thought a movie would accomplish if it won the popularity contest, and say HELLO to what is actually going on around them. Hello to ACTION. Content: Thanks to Vaughan.

Comment at the FORUM

2006-03-06T07:23:00.000-08:00

An image. Are you being heard? Do you even have something to say?

2006-03-02T19:05:00.000-08:00

(ww30)A House of CardsThe HOTTEST new Bush link. TheJohnBlog's response. PS. Here's a first step of action. So many of you are getting passionately involved with this project and your own sites. How many people have you told about this powerful medium? I mean... in real life? How many people have you encouraged to get involved? Support this independent medium. Music: Artist: Telefon Tel Aviv CD: Map of What Is Effortless Song: My Week Beats Your Year

Comment at the FORUM

2006-03-01T18:31:00.000-08:00

Holy Sh*t, it's another one! You remember John from a post or so ago? Up and RUNNING on his own. The John Blog

2006-02-28T22:24:00.000-08:00

(ww29) With A Stick In My HandBegin your journey HERE

2006-02-25T19:00:00.000-08:00

(ww28) My Red Balloon“Support for greater inclusiveness in the gay and lesbian movement has been twisted into something altogether different — a rationale for bashing gay, white men.” "Spare us, Lord, from artists and academics who dream of utopia. I'll opt for equality before the law any day, and take responsibility for making my own garden grow." - Steven H. Miller, Who Stole The Gay Movement? "A CDC survey, released in June, of black MSM in five major US cities found that 46 percent were HIV-positive." "'The prevention program was designed for gay white men, and we were told to make it work for gay black men. It didn't," said Wilson." "I was shocked that there wasn't any reaction from anyone," following the study's release, said Phill Wilson, BAI's CEO. "Not from the black community, gay community or straight community. This data demanded front page coverage."-CDC News

2006-02-24T21:06:00.000-08:00

Hot damn, it's another one! (Vlogger, that is.) Remember Drew? He's already walking! Definitely a boy and definitely on a journey worth watching.

2006-02-24T10:08:00.000-08:00

(ww27)Conflict? What Conflict?Content: John Ellis, Tony's dedication and gift... The Willing Warrior Forum! Let's spark a fire! Thank you to ~~Puffy~~ Marc as well for his UNENDING support. (notice the new banners? That's Tony and ~~Puffy~~ Marc.) Music: It is a Cetusss day! Songs: eMacing Fire 1 and Tu es Beau

2006-02-22T01:52:00.000-08:00

(ww26)Us, The Twice Borns Content: The beauty called Drew Music: Artist: Sigur Ros CD: Takk Songs: Glosoli, Hoppipolla

2006-02-20T11:27:00.000-08:00

(ww25)Close To Home: Abu Girabe & The AIDS Epidemic How do they go together? A bit general. I apologize. Everything I discuss, and more, can be found at my new workspace, http://blogs.opml.org/willingwarrior If you are interested, there you will find some of the info and focus that I gather everyday. Each page can be seen by choosing the day in the calendar. All stats and info for this post can be found on the 17th and 18th. If you do just one thing today, download this audio file or at least read this text of the speech. (THANK YOU TONY!) Music: Kilowatt & Vanek CD: RawQ Song: Gone (Another group to show support and allow use of their music. Check them out on iTunes.) Be Nobody's Darling by Alice Walker Be nobody's darling; Be an outcast. Take the contradictions Of your life And wrap around You like a shawl, To parry stones To keep you warm. Watch the people succumb To madness With ample cheer; Let them look askance at you And you askance reply. Be an outcast; Be pleased to walk alone (Uncool) Or line the crowded River beds With other impetuous Fools. Make a merry gathering On the bank Where thousands perished For brave hurt words They said. But be nobody's darling; Be an outcast. Qualified to live Among your dead.

2006-02-17T06:16:00.000-08:00

Here are some interesting quotes I picked up this morning: "The figure of the warrior is truly cross-cultural. The ancient warrior tradition is found in Africa, among the Masai; among the North and South American Indians; and among the Chinese and Japanese, to name just a few. In Europe, the figure of the warrior appeared among the Greeks, and also among the later medieval knights. In each of these traditions, a warrior is considered an essential part of society, protector and a source of good. And in each of these traditions, the warrior is bound by a code, a rule, a way of life. This code of the warrior embodies ways to regulate and in some cases to transform or transcend aggression." "The warrior is out of balance. Men have historically not only provided for their families, they have defended them as well. It is truly sad today that we have very few warrior archetypes for a man to look up to and model himself after. A warrior is not someone armed to the teeth perpetrating violence on others; that is a terrorist, a west tyrant. Rather the warrior is trained, ready and willing to use force to regulate violence and meet any threat to his safety and well-being and that of his loved ones. He lives as one with his inner priest, committed to uphold his individual values and the principles that guide and define his life. The warrior today is considered to be politically incorrect and downright dangerous. As a result, many men have "wimped out" and rejected this archetype." This is the most important quote right now: EUGENE JARECKI: "And I think, you know, when you're a filmmaker, you start out – anybody who tells you it's an objective form, is lying. It's a subjective form. You start out with ideas and feelings you have about a subject and then hopefully you do what we did, which is you go and you reach out to people who think very differently and don't have those impulses. And let's say you're A, you meet them and they're B, and the tragedy in America on the shouting match on television right now is that supposedly A or B is supposed to win. And I end up in a situation where I'm A, I meet B, I want to end up at A plus B equals C. I want to end up in a new place, and I'm a changed person for having met them."

2006-02-16T16:02:00.000-08:00

(ww24) Breed Sheep, Get Sheep *or* One Man's Denial Is Another Man's Country They do teach you, "If you do not learn from the past, you are doomed to repeat it." They don't teach you, "If you forget what has just happened, it stops happening." It doesn't. Abu Girabe= Guantanamo Bay A government's legal actions to keep secrets = Cover-ups Torture=Torture "We live here in the United States of Amnesia. No one remembers anything before Monday morning. Everything is a blank. We have no history." -Gore Vidal If you are a true American you can learn what the rest of the world knows HERE, yet most American's believe that if our government says it is too shameful it requires no discussion. Be warned... the images are horrific. But such is the truth. Music: Telefon Tel Aviv CD: Map of What Is Effortless Song: Map of What Is Effortless

2006-02-15T15:24:00.000-08:00

I think that these (this article and previous posts) distinctions about the definition of DEMOCRACY are incredibly important. I found this article in a Chilean paper. As I set down to translate it to post it I noticed that the writer's name is Richard. The Washington Times. Liberty vs. democracy�-�Commentary�-�The Washington Times, America's Newspaper

2006-02-14T13:16:00.000-08:00

(WW23)False Gods and Idols Content: MikeyPod (Episode 36), Joe, Vaughan Music: Artist: Telefon Tel Aviv CD: Immediate Action #8- EP Song: Sound In a Dark Room

2006-02-13T13:26:00.000-08:00

(WW22)Hello Again, Generally Speaking Well, so I'm back. Kinda awkward to start from here... but just be glad I'm not posting all of my travel videos. I'll be posting some pics at WillingWarrior.zoto.com Music: Artist: Telefon Tel Aviv CD: Farenheight Fair Enough Song: Your Face Reminds Me Of When I Was Old

2006-02-05T13:30:00.000-08:00

(ww21)Desert Flowering Here is a story that can be told, Where does Life=Defiance?

2006-02-03T13:04:00.000-08:00

(ww20)Stepping Out Out To: my brother Content: Steve of Pink Mafia Radio Links: SMYAL "The Sexual Minority Youth Assistance League (SMYAL) is the only Washington, DC metro area service organization solely dedicated to supporting lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, and questioning (LGBTIQ) youth. Founded in 1984, SMYAL is a 501 (c) (3) nonprofit organization. Our mission is to promote and support self-confident, healthy, productive lives for LGBTIQ youth as they journey from adolescence into adulthood. To fulfill our mission, we focus our commitment and energy on five focus areas: (1) Counseling & Support, (2) Life Skills & Leadership Development, (3) Health & Wellness Education, (4) Safe Social Activities, and (5) Community Outreach and Education." Music: Artist: Eric Himan CD: All For Show Song: One Night Stand

2006-02-01T11:02:00.000-08:00

(ww19)My Account(ability)Pissed? Don't be. Unless you have earned it. Music: Artist: Telefon Tel Aviv CD: Immediate Action #8-EP Song: TTV (slicker remix)

2006-01-30T16:49:00.000-08:00

(ww18)A is for Apathy... that's good enough for me. "Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world." -Joseph Campbell Music: Remember my post about Eric Himan? He has allowed me to use his music. I'm so happy. Please support this musician who is OUT and breaking stereotypes. Artist: Eric Himan CD: All For Show Song: A Good, Good Cry

2006-01-29T18:49:00.000-08:00

(ww17)So I Dream... The Waking I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go. We think by feeling. What is there to know? I hear my being dance from ear to ear. I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. Of those so close beside me, which are you? God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there, And learn by going where I have to go. Light takes the Tree, but who can tell us how? The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair; I wake to sleep and take my waking slow. Great nature has another thing to do To you and me; so take the lively air, And, lovely, learn by going where to go. This shaking keeps me steady. I should know. What falls away is always. And is near. I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I learn by going where I have to go. -- Theodore Roethke

2006-01-27T13:04:00.000-08:00

(ww16)Past: Fox and Foe"You may be through with the past... but the past ain't through with you." Content: Big Thanks to Ragan Fox of Fox and the City for taking a trip down memory lane. Thank you Spider Monkey. Thanks to Don for his last comment. US Intervention in Chile. Music: Telefon Tel Aviv cd: Map of What Is Effortless song: What It Was Will Never Again (links to itunes)

2006-01-24T11:06:00.000-08:00

(ww15) The Great Divide My response to what has happened here in 24 hours can go without saying. I'm sure you are well aware of what it means to me. My response to the actual video will go without being said as well. It simply is a mute point. What has happened here far outweighs any of my words and at the end of it all, it is that we are at the beginning of a questioning that is really the point. I do hope that there will be more along these lines... these "lines", the ones that separate us. I continue on with where it has put me today. Give in, give up, give over... to something bigger. Music: I am elated and honored to say that I have been granted the rights to use the music from one of my all time favorite groups Telefon Tel Aviv. Featured here, from the CD Map of What Is Effortless the song I Lied.

2006-01-23T16:20:00.000-08:00

Ok. This isn't a vlog. That is the one before this. This is me saying that **YES, I TOOK EVERYTHING OFF FLICKER.** For those of you who so kindly put up a Warrior button, thank you so much for changing it to the new code that is there now. Damn, politics can change everything. heh. I don't know, call it peer pressure, call it a statement, call it whatever you want, but I will join the others that want to put out the message, YOU CAN'T FUCK PEOPLE OVER JUST BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT TELLS YOU TO. a-hem, oh, excuse me... was that my outside voice?

2006-01-23T11:38:00.000-08:00

(ww14)Looking at -isms It has come to my attention that there are many factors at play within any movement that actually work against a movement. "-isms" Racism, Classism, Looksism (hey, it's a word I found on the internet. You get the point.) Sexism, Ageism, etc. Starting the discussion. Today I need your help. Find out why. New intro music: Duke. I initially found them about a year ago when they played at a friends birthday party in a crazy little drag bar on the lower east side in NY. In exchange for the use of their music I'm posting their info on the side bar. So while I'm at it, lemme explain what is happening with the music. I have learned that I am not able to use music from an artist without their direct allowance. So if you have any good musical content that you have personal access to... let me know.

2006-01-20T12:14:00.000-08:00

(ww13)A World-Wide Web

www.FluxView.com

Knowledge IS activism. In continuation- Please check out Common Ground. They give me an amazing example of what people can do together. The one man who pulls many projects together with his own citizen video jounalism is Flux Rostrum. "A portal for independent news sources and conscious culture." Support others. If only with your attention. It is the least we can do. Music: Flux Rostrum holds all rights.

2006-01-18T18:04:00.000-08:00

(ww12) Spark It Up Realizations. Big decisions. A fire is started. Content: Mark, Joel, Common Ground Music: Love Over The Nation/Cetusss FYI: REPUBLIC vs. DEMOCRACY "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." In the Pledge of Allegiance we all pledge allegiance to our Republic, not to a democracy. "Republic" is the proper description of our government, not "democracy." I invite you to join me in raising public awareness regarding that distinction. The distinction between our Republic and a democracy is not an idle one. It has great legal significance. The Constitution guarantees to every state a Republican form of government (Art. 4, Sec. 4). No state may join the United States unless it is a Republic. Our Republic is one dedicated to "liberty and justice for all." Minority individual rights are the priority. The people have natural rights instead of civil rights. The people are protected by the Bill of Rights from the majority. One vote in a jury can stop all of the majority from depriving any one of the people of his rights; this would not be so if the United States were a democracy. (see People's rights vs Citizens' rights) In a pure democracy 51 beats 49[%]. In a democracy there is no such thing as a significant minority: there are no minority rights except civil rights (privileges) granted by a condescending majority. Only five of the U.S. Constitution's first ten amendments apply to Citizens of the United States. Simply stated, a democracy is a dictatorship of the majority. Socrates was executed by a democracy: though he harmed no one, the majority found him intolerable. Democracy- In both the Direct type and the Representative type of Democracy, The Majority’s power is absolute and unlimited; its decisions are unappealable under the legal system established to give effect to this form of government. This opens the door to unlimited Tyranny-by-Majority. This was what The Framers of the United States Constitution meant in 1787, in debates in the Federal (framing) Convention, when they condemned the "excesses of democracy" and abuses under any Democracy of the unalienable rights of The Individual by The Majority. A Republic- A Republic, on the other hand, has a very different purpose and an entirely different form, or system, of government. Its purpose is to control The Majority strictly, as well as all others among the people, primarily to protect The Individual’s God-given, unalienable rights and therefore for the protection of the rights of The Minority, of all minorities, and the liberties of people in general. The definition of a Republic is: a constitutionally limited government of the representative type, created by a written Constitution--adopted by the people and changeable (from its original meaning) by them only by its amendment--with its powers divided between three separate Branches: Executive, Legislative and Judicial. Here the term "the people" means, of course, the electorate.

2006-01-17T14:10:00.000-08:00

Chile Elects First Female President

Skip the Truthdig.com article on Bachelet. Here is a good one.

2006-01-17T11:25:00.000-08:00

(ww11) Reaction to Reactions Video: Thanks to Cetuss s once again. Content: Thanks to Jake for the NYT article The Pressure To Cover If you can't reach the article here... let me know by email. (Sorry about the eye. Allergies.) Music: Flight of the Alone to the Alone/2-RD (Podsafe MN)

2006-01-16T12:43:00.000-08:00

(ww10)It Shines So Brightly As I was taping this on the street, a woman yelled (in spanish of course), "Film the liberation!" I had goose-bumps the whole time. If I could make one day last forever... this would be the one I would choose. To have this hope and excitement go on... and on... and on.... The liberation. Well put.

2006-01-15T17:31:00.000-08:00

(ww9)And the Winner is...I can't imagine where else in the world I would rather be today. A day that they made history... Tomorrow I'll post part 2. The reaction in the streets. I've never seen anything like it. Wish you were here? I am so glad I am.

2006-01-13T09:15:00.000-08:00

Have ANOTHER cigar! Another vlogger is born... Joel started with a vid here and has now started his own vlog. Check out his first one here. Just beautiful. Also, I just listened to Adam's latest podcast at TheKrebsCycle. Really great. Funny and inspirational. His take on what is sparking up within this growing internet "world" is awesome. Can you feel it happening? I can.

2006-01-13T08:47:00.000-08:00

(ww8)Power to the People Swept up in a sea of people, I remembered how powerful a mass can be. Trying to walk was pointless because I was held up and moved by the pressing bodies that surrounded me. I had forgotten what it felt like to be part of something that wanted so badly. It felt so good. Sunday at the polls they will show their power. On sunday, the history of the Pinochet regime will meet the the future of a booming Chile when it elects the first woman President. The first in South America. In terms of a modern society's rate of growth and progressiveness, Chile is set to put the US to shame. Perhaps you are unfamilar with the dictator, Augusto Pinochet, that is now on trial for human rights offences. Maybe you weren't aware of the thousands of people that were tortured, held in captivity, forced into exile, or simply just disappeared off the streets 20 years ago. My, how this country has grown. BicycleMark asked me in his interview why this type of progressiveness is happening here in Chile and not in another South American country. I'm really not sure. My question is why isn't it happening in the US? Watch the Vlog Meet Michelle Bachelet in my previous post, IT IS HAPPENING TOMORROW.

2006-01-11T18:37:00.000-08:00

(ww7)Me. Homophobically SpeakingI'm sorry, I think you dropped this... I don't know why I picked it up. Clip: Homophobia PSA - New Trier High School (2003) Archive.org

2006-01-09T19:17:00.000-08:00

(ww6)THIS IS NOT A CRAFT FAIRThis is survival. So, put down your knitting needles... My Challenger(s)- Cetusss, his site, and collaborative project Big Thanks to Cetusss for the vid and the hot "outro" music that you all will be hearing from now on. This post is dedicated to the heart of the man called Robert P-. You are a blessing to this community. Keep on keepin' on. And Big Thanks to Marc. For Everything and All. Every day.

2006-01-09T15:57:00.000-08:00

Have a cigar! A new vlogger is born... it's a boy! And how lovely he turned out to be.

2006-01-07T20:12:00.000-08:00

(ww5) Sex and Wisdom? Sex Without Wisdom- Ok, I'm only touching on it, but enough to give me the shakes posting it. Add Wisdom- Viewer mail from a celebrity. Well, a celebrity's relative...? Many thanks to my muse, Wanda Wisdom, at LuckyBitchRadio for passing my email address to Carol... amongst a slew of other reasons. And to my new friend who watches the sun rise as he holds the hand of a broken dream... Welcome to a new one. I'm thinking of you.

2006-01-05T14:49:00.000-08:00

(ww4)Out of the Mouths of Babes The first compilation post. Let's see how this works. Any ideas? Lemme know. Thank you to Nillo, Jonathan, and Joel. Thanks for diving in first. Hopefully the water is warm. You can see their lovely vlogs in their entireties by clicking on their names above. (Nillo's podcast) (Joel's blog)

2006-01-05T08:36:00.000-08:00

BicycleMark: On Chile If you aren't familiar with BicycleMark, get on the ball. I have a feeling if you are reading this blog then you know who I'm talking about. I was honored to take part in a piece he has just done on Chile. The piece as a whole is nothing short of wonderful. For most people who don't even know where Chile is, much less what is going on here, BicycleMark gives a great and infomative profile of the social and political climate. Even better, he opens it up to how economic and social models up for debate here apply to our home countries. Well done, BicycleMark, with a country I hold near and dear to my heart.

2006-01-03T20:40:00.000-08:00

(ww3)Return of the Ex

Or am I the Ex that keeps on returning? Or is it simply loneliness that does these crazy things? How to be lonely in a room full of people.

2006-01-02T19:43:00.000-08:00

I Have A Crush. It's A Secret. Secret Simon that is. I was introduced to his blog after a rare and timid "I like your vlog." I searched for his work as he had taken the time for mine. I fell into his life in a way that is new for me. He has no idea who I am truly, and I truly have no idea who he is. Yet what he shares with me intimately, trustingly, and so honestly, makes me weak. Or maybe it is just his monkeys. He has two. Maybe it is that I am envious of that part of his life and so I place myself in it. Ok, I have to back up. Simon's blog is about a year old I gather. He started writing out of, what appears to be, necessity. Being married, having two children (lovingly Monkey 1 and Monkey 2), and living in a town that takes down Gay Pride posters, where else does a 28 y.o. have to turn to but the anonymity of the internet when... he is gay. Why else do people blog, podcast, or vlog if not for the need to communicate? Secret Simon wrote all through his experiences. He dealt with the destruction that he knew his actions would cause. He stepped out of the role of husband. He stepped into the world of beginning to identify himself as a gay male... and all that entails. For some reason, perhaps it is because he is also walking the road with two monkeys on his back, to me he views his world with an "innocence" and a need for discovery... not just as a gay man, but as a human. For this, I give my heart. Seven year anniversary- "Seven years later, tonight, we sit and hold hands for a while. I know she is thinking about it. The monkeys are asleep. The Elder Monkey coughs, a reminder of his current illness. The TV is showing sitcoms and dramas but it all just turns into noise after a while. That familiar question arises, what are you thinking, what am I thinking? We remember the date. We conclude there is no anger, only tired minds. It's late and time for me to go home. To she, I hope to be her confidante and a comfortable fellow human being until we are ripe and mewling in old age. To she, who is mama to my monkeys, I will do my best to not let them too close to the sun. To she, who I burdened with my name, I will always ask for forgiveness. As I sit here trying desperately to see through a salty blur in my eyes, with a slight fever and only a few thoughts that are worth anything...I hear the cough. I speak nothing. I'm hungry. I eat chocolate and drink tea and I'm sure it makes my head hurts. Wet socks make my feet itch. I have a lot of work to do that I won't get to. My tummy hurts. I miss people. I take a deep breath. These are not complaints by the way. Merely observations. I can do nothing more at this point. Although I'm done with slippery doorknobs and will use the front door from now on. Why we do the things we do will forever be my riddle, sonnet, humor and curse mashed together in a perplexing and unbreakable thread. Ask me again in another seven years."

2006-01-02T05:51:00.000-08:00

(ww2) A New Year!Everyone else is doing it... Here is how I spent the weekend in Viña del Mar.

2005-12-30T08:39:00.000-08:00

(ww1) He/HIV/Me

Starting the discussion. Looking back at over two years of a three-some.

2005-12-29T08:37:00.000-08:00

Me and the Embassy

You Can't Watch the vlog

So I feel like I have to remove this vlog. I just found some of my posts in a Chile RSS feed. That made me worry. As much as this vlog is about honesty, the matter discussed here is a little too delicate to put another face to. Immigration sucks for bi-national couples and I simply have too much to lose.

I found myself sitting outside the US Embassy, waiting to see if some major choices would be forced on me... and the day that followed. It is very common to have visas denied for no reason. Even the denial of entrance at immigration INTO the US. People are simply put back on the plane. As stated on the government's website, a visa only permits one access to the port of arrival. Entrance into the US can be denied at that point. It is up to the official's discretion. I can't tell you what kind of terrible scenes pass through my head.

2005-12-27T22:56:00.000-08:00

Words Without Voices, Beauty Without Identity Watch the vlogNone of the words are my own. They came from incredible emails filled with thought, passion, and life. Unfortunately, all I could do was to blend the words together with a collection of images of my own life. Words bubble up here, phrases stand out. What washes over me is how rich this could be, if only... This is all I could do to share with you, your beauty through my eyes.

2005-12-27T04:52:00.000-08:00

Genesis

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"Ring the bell that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There's a crack, crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." - Leonard Cohen (Thanks Mike!!)

Music: Kalai, FEAR NOT THE WILD THINGS

2005-12-25T18:53:00.000-08:00

A Miracle on Avenida Providencia

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2005-12-24T11:13:00.000-08:00

AHHHHHH. You gotta check this out...This is Eric Himan I learned about him in an interview on a great new podcast Scene404 Radio. You can find it on iTunes. Both his unique voice and the voice of the podcast are breaking stereotypes of the gay culture. It is amazing to me that the most destructive stereotypes we face are not the ones created outside the gay culture... but from within. I have been so blessed since starting this project to be in contact with other voices that give me such hope. Let's make it possible to break our own stereotypes, instead of breaking ourselves to fit into them.

2005-12-23T11:16:00.000-08:00

A Muscle Vid Watch the Vlog

Many thanks to Mark at AllAboutMuscles.blogspot.com Watch his whole post here at http://blip.tv/file/get/Muscles-AMessageToChile298.mp4

2005-12-22T10:33:00.000-08:00

Induction=Reduction Watch the Vlog

"People used to say of me that I was too individualistic. I must be far more of an individualist than ever I was. I must get far more out of myself than ever I got, and ask far less of the world than ever I asked. Indeed, my ruin came not from too great individualism of life, but from too little. The one disgraceful, unpardonable, and to all time contemptible action of my life was to allow myself to appeal to society for help and protection." -Oscar Wilde, De Profundis

2005-12-21T18:57:00.000-08:00

As we head into this very important time of year I feel compelled to pull out my photo album. These pictures are from Tierra Santa, the world's only religious theme park, in Buenos Aires. Here, Jesus is resurrected every half hour. And they say there is no heaven on earth...

2005-12-20T20:10:00.000-08:00

"Congratulations."

Just Watch the Vlog .

Here is the link.

2005-12-19T12:50:00.000-08:00

Through His Webcam, a Boy Joins a Sordid Online World - New York Times THIS MAKES ME SO FURIOUS. Go to the link above. The internet is huge. The world seems bigger and bigger every day. It is impossible to change what is the worst in people. However, instead of changing the horrific desires of these individuals, we can at least arm our children with the self-esteem necessary to navigate this world. As adults become more predatory, an even stronger sense of SELF is necessary to survive. I'm sorry to be so caught up on this, but it becomes so apparent to me that IDENTITY and SELF-ESTEEM are vital! I can't change the world, but if I can reach at least ONE GAY YOUTH to help them understand, even through my mistakes, how to HAVE IDENTITY AND SELF-ESTEEM so that they can be strong enough when SURROUNDED BY VAMPIRES, at least that is something. Shouldn't that be a responsibility we all share?

2005-12-19T08:39:00.000-08:00

Anonymous Sex - Nature or Nurture? Your typical Gaydar shot? Where did the headless torso come from and where is it going? The link discussed here. I see the same development of anonymous sex here in Chile. In a culture repressed, very much the same way the US was at the dawning of the bath house era, I understand the need for secrecy here. What does it develop into when the need for secrecy is gone? What does anonymous sex mean to you?

2005-12-16T17:20:00.000-08:00

Political/SexualWatch the vlog

A response to questions... most of them my own.

2005-12-16T16:38:00.000-08:00

You've Got Mail, and ... - Los Angeles Times Here is the link to the email article.

2005-12-15T13:00:00.000-08:00

Willing Warrior/ Expat-Sexpat

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WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?

2005-12-14T21:40:00.000-08:00

Intimacy and the Divining Rod.

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2005-12-14T11:11:00.000-08:00

"A rat gnaws at the heart. It's a wooga-booga rat colagged from newspaper articles, sound bites from TV, bytes from the blogosphere, and shifting existential sand. I know this rat because I've created him at my work-table of doubt and confusion. The table itself, and its construction, is an interesting story, but I won't get into it now because you, my reader, are not my shrink and I am not your patient." This is the beginning of a short poem by Andrei Codrescu. Listen to it here from NPR.

2005-12-12T20:47:00.000-08:00

Just to be true to form: Chile abolished the Death Penalty in 2001. Since the democratic process returned to Chile in the 1990s, the death penalty has been successively commuted to life imprisonment (40 years minimum sentence). Now, the penalty is officially abolished. Chilean Justice Minister, Jose Antonio Gomez, stated that “The abolition of the death penalty is the first step towards a definitive humanization process of penalties in Chile... Revoking the death penalty is not an act of weakness, but of humanity”. He went on to say that there is no justification for the death penalty on any grounds. “The death penalty is useless and unjustified. Instead of contributing towards creating better virtues in the citizens and fighting crime, it makes life banal and makes each man and woman a subject dominated by the power of the state, instead of a responsible citizen, who has rights.”

2005-12-12T19:43:00.000-08:00

"I'm remaining optimistic about a last minute stay-like in the movies." Stanley's former wife said. I think a part of me did as well. That little glimmer of hope that humans are evolving, that one can be forgiven, that we have left the Colosseum behind or that Life is simply stronger than Death. The most disturbing fact for me is in Schwarzenegger's statement, "After studying the evidence, searching the history, listening to the arguments and wrestling with the profound consequences, I could find no justification for granting clemency." In all of his brainy "studying" and "searching" through paperwork and arguments, he left out the one simple and most powerful justification possible. Life. It seems now that blood is far more satisfying. Has history taught us nothing? Perhaps we have simply stopped evolving. From Oscar Wilde's, De Profundis: "There are times when sorrow seems to me to be the only truth. Other things may be illusions of the eye or the appetite, made to blind the one and cloy the other, but out of sorrow have the worlds been built, and at the birth of a child or a star there is pain."

2005-12-12T17:59:00.000-08:00

How I got here...

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Flashing back

and

I show you mine, show me yours. Damn, thanks to Kev too! WillingWarrior@mac.com

2005-12-11T22:10:00.000-08:00

Truthdig - Ear to the Ground - An Agnostic for President and a Woman at That? Thanks Adam B.

2005-12-11T18:35:00.000-08:00

Well, no excitement today... just reassuring news. There will be a run-off election, but she is in the lead with 46% of the votes. Her two main competitors trail at around 25%. The elections are set for January 15th. The voting sites separate men and women completely, into different sites. The site that I went to for men was very busy but we were in and out immediately. Apparently some women were waiting at their sites all day. I am unclear as to what the problem was. Women working the tables just claim that women voters are slower, more lax, and uninformed about how to vote. Since Bachelet brought many women to the booths for the first time in their lives, this may be true. Once one is registered to vote in Chile, it is mandatory. Heavy fines are incurred for failing to vote, even if your vote is only of an objection to all candidates. All businesses were closed. (And I mean all. I was hard pressed to find something to eat for lunch. Luckily the little cafe on the corner was open.) The law requires that any business that serves alcohol be closed from 12midnight last night to 12midnight tonight. This includes the sale of alcohol from stores and supermarkets as well. I guess this is just to make sure that no one misses the vote, not for work or play. On a side-note: Walking to the male voting site felt more like walking in the streets of San Francisco than Santiago, Chile. Apparently things have been changing drastically within the past ten years. I have a strong feeling if Bachelet is elected... Gay rights and Gay marriage are not far behind.

2005-12-10T15:55:00.000-08:00

It is happening tomorrow...

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and the world is watching.

I met two female students/travelers that are returning to Santiago, Chile just to be here for it. Credit: NPR Latino

2005-12-10T15:15:00.000-08:00

Chron.com | Woman leads race for Chile leader

2005-12-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

It is worse than I thought. Watch the video

Trying to keep it cool. Results are back from the doctor's office.

2005-12-09T17:45:00.000-08:00

I think I just threw-up a little bit in my mouth.

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Sorry shitty day.

Spread some words, any words, any way you can.

2005-12-09T08:25:00.000-08:00

A poem by Langston Hughes, entitled Mother to Son: Well, son, I’ll tell you: Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair. It’s had tacks in it, And splinters, And boards torn up, And places with no carpet on the floor – Bare. But all the time I’se been a-climbin’ on And reachin’ landin’s, And turnin’ corners, And sometimes goin’ in the dark Where there ain’t been no light. So boy, don’t you turn back. Don’t you set down on the steps ‘Cause you finds it’s kinder hard. Don’t you fall now – For I’se still goin’, honey, I’se still climbin’, And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

2005-12-08T21:55:00.000-08:00

So I spent the day with a virgin...

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A national holiday in a state of confusion.

2005-12-07T13:07:00.000-08:00

In “Civilization and Its Discontents,” Freud summarized what “the common man understands by his religion-the system of doctrines and promises which on the one hand explains to him the riddle of life with enviable completeness, and, on the other, assures him that a careful Providence will watch over his life and will compensate him in a future life for any frustrations he suffers here.” ok... So I just came upon this site after Robert Scheer was fired from The LA Times. Great site. I have always been a fan of Mr. Scheer, listening to him every week on NPR's Left, Right & Center. He is writing with this site as well now. The above quote is pulled from a "dig" by Larry Gross, entitled "Inventing Sin: Religion and Homosexuality". Read it Here. Listen to it Here. You can read the articles or listen to them... love that.

2005-12-06T10:15:00.000-08:00

A Call For Help

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2005-12-04T14:40:00.000-08:00

Food for Thought.

Ok... Just two bits... First from 1985. A book written about the US' involvement in Chile. Then an article that just came over the wire 14 hours ago.

Stansfield Turner, Secrecy and Democracy (1985)

The most adverse exposure was a series of revelations about more than ten years of CIA interference in Chile, from 1963 to 1973. This was one of the most massive campaigns in US intelligence annals. The earliest effort was an attempt to shape the outcome of the 1964 presidential election in Chile, when the CIA underwrote more than half of the expenses of the Christian Democratic Party's campaign. This support was directed at defeating the communist candidate, Salvador Allende. It was probably not known to the Christian Democratic candidate, Eduardo Frei. In addition to funding Frei, the CIA waged an extensive anticommunist propaganda campaign, using posters, the radio, films, pamphlets, and the press, to convince the Chileans that Allende and communism would bring to their country Soviet militarism and Cuban brutality. As part of this campaign, hundreds of thousands of copies of an anticommunist pastoral letter of Pope Pius XI were distributed. Frei won handily, but allegations of CIA involvement seeped out.
As a result, the CIA was reluctant to play as large a role in the next Chilean presidential election, in 1970. Not only was its role smaller; it did not support a specific candidate. The effort was directed strictly against Allende and was based primarily on propaganda, employing virtually all Chilean media and some of the international press as well. The program failed when Allende won a plurality, though not a majority, of the popular vote.

Allende was installed as President on November 2. Over the next three years, until 1973, the National Security Council authorized the CIA to expend some $7 million covertly to oppose Allende with propaganda, financial support for anti-Allende media in Chile, and funding for private organizations opposed to Allende. Other agencies of the US government applied economic and political pressure. On September 11, 1973, the Chilean military staged a coup in which Allende died, reportedly by suicide. The CIA did not sponsor this coup, but how much its encouragement of the 1970 coup and its continued liaison with the Chilean military encouraged the action is honestly difficult to assess. With Allende gone, the decade-long covert action program was phased out.

Associated Press Update 2: Chavez: Boycott Won't Taint Election

12.04.2005, 02:33 AM

Chavez has accused the "imperialist" U.S. government, with which he often clashes, of being behind the boycott by parties such as Democratic Action, Project Venezuela and Justice First. The U.S. government has denied involvement.

Government officials say the U.S. has been meddling in the elections through the vote monitoring group Sumate, which receives money from the Washington-based National Endowment for Democracy, a private group funded by the U.S. Congress.

Sumate called for Venezuelans to go to church on election day, urging them in a statement to pray for "transparency and the truth," and leaving it up to voters whether they want to vote.

Venezuelan Foreign Minister Ali Rodriguez called Sumate's leaders "mercenaries of the U.S. government."

2005-12-02T07:30:00.000-08:00

Another interview

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Eduardo on Identity. I asked Eduardo about Chilean Identity and about Gay Identity in Chile. He dove right in.

2005-12-01T06:00:00.000-08:00

An Interview With Eduardo Watch the video

He is from The Dominican Republic, and now lives in Chile. His take on the US' influence and culture.

2005-11-30T06:00:00.000-08:00

Is Free Trade Taxing On A Country's Identity?

*or* Where Have All The Empanadas Gone? Watch the video

What they give up for Trade that is "Free"

2005-11-28T05:55:00.000-08:00

An Interview with Patricio

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Ok. Just a warning. This is a little longer, at 4:30. But if you want to learn more about life, the economy, and the people of Chile...

2005-11-27T05:55:00.000-08:00

Sunday in the park with Brad

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Short and Sweet. A nice capsule of the dichotomy of life in Chile

2005-11-26T05:50:00.000-08:00

The long road back...

I'm thirty years old this year. I'm living in Santiago, Chile. I have been here for about six months now. After quite a bit of traveling recently, after a lot of change, upheaval, and starting overs... I'm starting over. I know that is what I am doing, but I keep trying to call it something else. Like I'm just continuing on... like this is all part of the plan. Right... Kind of like a Christmas when all your gifts ended up being clothes, none of which you really like, but you say out-loud and quickly, "Oh but these are great, I will DEFINITELY wear them..." However, I'm here, and I'm learning alot... which is the other thing you say at the end of every relationship gone sour. "It's ok, I learned alot."?

I had just become so unfulfilled with everything. A corrupt government, my shrinking political rights, projects that just don't come through, dreams and plans that had become so distant and vague that I couldn't even remember what it meant to have one... But now I feel I am on my journey back, in so many ways. Back to myself, back to my life, back to being able to dream again, back to learning how to create, back to learning how to fight.

What I guess all these ramblings are right now is just to start off this journey. Because now as I look down the road back, I realize how much I don't understand. And if I don't understand, I can't even imagine how much my family or even my friends don't understand. So I am creating a place where I can try to piece it all together, so that maybe one day it will help me to explain. I dedicate this to my mother. I write this to my mother. Maybe one day she will understand all the musings of this bewildered little prince in the desert, and so will I.

2005-11-25T05:55:00.000-08:00

It's $Green$ Friday...

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The biggest shopping day of the year.

2005-11-24T05:50:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving Day

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Touching base with family... Happy Thanksgiving! Be sure to have a lot of yeast with your meal. Yeastradio.com

2005-11-24T05:50:00.000-08:00

Missing.

I'm having panic attacks at night now. It's kinda weird.

I guess this is the time that I think about my mother the most... and I'm sure she of me. Now that I'm planning very much to have a child, I can't imagine what it is like for her to have her son living in another country with no other reason than "I just don't agree with what is going on. I am morally gouged out."

She didn't even know where Chile was in South America. How many Americans do though... Even though we laid a deadly hand here, and only now documents are declassified about what has happened here... How many Americans know? I didn't.

"I just don't agree with what is going on."

I don't think I'll be able to make it for Christmas again this year. Only this time it is oceans that seperates us... not history.

"I just don't agree with what is going on."

I'm sure that she doesn't either.

This is what keeps me awake at night.

2005-11-23T05:45:00.001-08:00

Where the hell is it??

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A little bit about Chile and why I'm here

There is a little glitch in the audio. sorry.

2005-11-23T05:45:00.000-08:00

Democracy Peach

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A mix of Peach, Plum, Pear by final fantasy and Democracy Now!

2005-11-22T05:45:00.000-08:00

In cold blood...

In the light of the planned execution in California of the man with many nominations for the Nobel Peace Prize... check this out.

Witness Clears Man Executed In Texas for 1985 Slaying

Associated Press Tuesday, November 22, 2005;

Page A02

HOUSTON -- A decade after Ruben Cantu was executed for capital murder, the only witness to the crime is recanting and his co-defendant says Cantu, then 17, was not even with him that night."The victim was shot nine times with a rifle during an attempted robbery before the gunman shot the only witness."That witness, Juan Moreno, told the Houston Chronicle for its Sunday editions that Cantu was not the killer. Moreno said he identified him at the 1985 trial because he felt pressured and feared authorities."Cantu, who had maintained his innocence, was executed on Aug. 24, 1993, at age 26. "Texas murdered an innocent person," co-defendant David Garza said." Sam D. Millsap Jr., the district attorney who handled the case, said he never should have sought the death penalty in a case based on testimony from a witness who identified a suspect only after police showed him a photo three times.